Saturday, June 28, 2008

BREEZE-just waiting and watching to see how she does

Sooo...time marches on and this is what is going on. Breeze is looking tons better, I can not wait until she goes back to Dr. Walden to see how she feels she is doing. Her gait looks almost totally normal most of the time. WHOOOO HOOOO!!! She is doing her exercises well, and it is funny how totally overwhelming the exercises seemed when I first got them but now...they just seem like no big deal. I have suprised even myself and have been able to keep Breeze just on leash and I think there has only been a time or two she has done a short run before I got her back, and a few times she has jumped up on a chair before I saw what was happening-so really pretty proud of myself for being able to keep this young, wild BC from hurting herself! More unsure then ever what she will be able to do in the long run.....I want to keep her happy and healthy, and I do not want to tear her down physically, so know once all the info is in we will have a lot of decisions to make.

Funny how the emotions can change though, sometimes I really feel bummed to have this situation and sometimes wish I had chosen another dog, why when I want to do dog sports did I get a dog with real structural problems...isnt that horrible to say? I really feel bad about saying that, and most of the time 98% of the time I really am glad I have her, but once in awhile I just feel so disappointed. To be truthful I would really much rather have a dog that cant do agility and is a wonderful companion then the best dog at agility and dog sports that is a horror to live with, so I should be happy for what I have. She is ABSOLUTELY the greatest dog, she loves the kids and they love her, she is so easy to be with, she is the sweetest girl ever, I couldnt ask for more from a pet dog, I just absolutely love her so much. Then when I go back I keep thinking about what I am going to do or what I will feel if the vets say she can do a little agility and try to see how she does. I think if she is able to do some agility, I wonder how comfortable I will ever be worrying about what she might be doing to herself and worrying about not seeing the little signs if she is starting to hurt, I am scared to hope that she will be able to continue agility because I feel like I am going to be so bummed if she cant do it now that I have started hoping again.....and then part of me would just like to know that we have reached the point where it just isnt going to happen if that is the case so I can just move on-find her a new niche in life and just be happy. No one was saying they thought she was going to be able to do agility once this injury is healed, I am just thinking they might say we could try it because she just seems to be healing so well, so now I am thinking a lot of her problem might not be her hips but was her knee injury. But then again, there is arthritis on her hips, so obviously that has been giving her problems. Her health of course has got to be the first priority.

Poor Breeze has taken to sitting and looking out the window into the back yard where all the equipment is and where the dogs all ususally get to run and play. Check out in the picture what she has done to my blinds.....ughghghghg, very attractive and goes so well with the xpens in the house. I think these quiet couple of weeks are getting hard on her, she is putting up with it well,...but I think she is really missing her old life. Seeing her just sitting and staring out into the empty yard is sad, I think it just taps into my feelings of saddness for her, so it really tears at my heart. I took her with me when I was substitute teaching agility classes these past two weeks so that I can make sure she is following her activity restrictions and not being crated too long and to make sure she isnt crated too long which might make her stiff-ANYHOOO when I took her out of the crate to the yard she has worked in so many times she got so excited until she figured out that she just got to take a slow walk around the yard. SO TO SUM IT UP; nothing has changed, we are just watching and waiting to see what will happen.

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